The Booby Ban

I am so confused. But then again, I never understood why breasts were idolized in the first place. 

If a woman shows a lot of skin she is either praised for having a positive body image and expressing her femininity...or she's chastised for objectifying all women by using sex to promote herself. 

As I read these different stories I find valid points that I support in all of them... 

Rihanna wore a gorgeous dress to the Council of Fashion Designers of America awards and TLC blasted her for using sex to sell her music. In response, Rihanna found a picture of TLC topless, covering their breasts with only their hands, and tweeted it with a clever remark. (Rolling Stone) 

Meanwhile, circulating the internet is a beautiful story about a conversation between Mohammad Ali and his daughters. He teaches them that their bodies are sacred and like anything precious on this earth, God intended them to be covered and hard to get to. It's a sweet, metaphorical, and beautiful message. 

Then, there are some very well-supported arguments about the impact of telling girls to "cover up" on America's rape culture. It wasn't until recently that I realized how this idea teaches young girls that they are responsible if raped because they "tempt" males by dressing scantily. 

And don't forget that some people don't want their young, pre-teen, or teenage children to witness women publicly breast-feeding because it's "inappropriate". In response, many women have stood up to lobby for a mother's right to breastfeed her infant in public. 

Seriously? I'm dizzy from reading all these articles. I feel like I'm turning in circles. 

What if the reason we care so much about partial nudity is because we choose to make a big deal out of it? I mean, really, if you think about it, boobs are SUPER COMMON. Approximately 52% of people in the world have them. And if you don't have them, there's a good chance you've seen someone else's...

Does the ban on public booby exposure make them seem more exotic and rare? Is that the real reason breasts have become synonymous with sex? 

I don't know about you, but in my opinion, seduction requires a lot more than just bare skin....there's the sultry pout, suggestive maneuvers, etc. But by themselves, breasts are not equivalent to sex. 
So what's the big deal? If a woman wants to show some or all of her breasts, let her. If a woman wants to wear a headscarf, why do you care? If a woman wants to wear a ball gown to dinner at Denny's, don't stop her. 

Each person has preferences that are personal and unique. Who you are and what you like shouldn't bother anyone else and if it does, that's not your problem.  

Sober on Bourbon Street

I saw this shirt today and flipped out. It's like it was made just for me:

Because that is ME to a T. Haha - get it? I know...that was a terrible pun. I don't blame you if you stop reading now.

This is my first trip to New Orleans and (so far) I’m doing it stone-cold sober. On my way into town on the plane last night I suddenly flashed back to the first time I realized that those little tiny bottles of booze were less than 3 oz and could go in my quart-size ziploc bag in my carry-on. I was overjoyed at the idea of having alcohol on the plane for a third of the price the airline would charge me. ANY way to save money while drinking was money well-spent, and a good reason to drink. Hell, everything was a good reason to drink.

While I'm a naturally wacky, outgoing person to begin with, for a long time that had to be supplemented with alcohol when I was in a public space with a bunch of people I didn't know.  Everywhere I went, I was worried that people were judging me. How arrogant is that? To think that every stranger I meet is taking time to look at, observe, and make a judgment about me is incredibly self-centered. Most of the time, other people are not thinking about you. Really. They're not. They are thinking about the turkey they need to get for dinner, whether or not they remembered to do something important, or are ruminating over what drink to get next. 

And even if they were looking at, and thinking about you, why should that even matter? 

The moment I accepted "what other people think of me is none of my business" as a personal truth, I lost my fear of people and my self-diagnosed social anxiety subsided. 

Tonight I got up to "sing" karaoke and rocked out to P!nk for 3 minutes and 23 seconds without any regard for what people in the audience thought about my performance or my dress. Sure, before going up there I was a little nervous, and even dragged a girlfriend up with me. I paused briefly and let my fear go.

And then....it was time to rock out. To a drinking song, but hey, "Raise Your Glass" is kind of my anthem...

So if you're too school for cool

(I mean)

And you're treated like a fool

(You're treated like a fool)

You can choose to let it go

We can always, we can always party on our own

So many of P!nk's lyrics speak to me personally, and this one is no exception. The idea that you can choose to let go of the way other people treat you and think of you is not something that I ever REALLY believed in...until I got sober. Learning how to let go of that judgment is not easy, but also incredibly liberating. Once you realize that drama doesn't HAVE to impact you, there's nothing to stop you from having fun whenever you want!

As I danced down Bourbon Street tonight (regardless of whether or not we heard music) I realized that I have a great gift. As a result of working hard learning to love myself, I've given myself permission to cut loose in whatever way I see fit! Whether that's dancing down Bourbon Street, wearing a kissing sticker on my chest, or screaming along to a karaoke track, it doesn't matter.

All that matters is that I stay true to who I am and what I want.

When I try to mold myself to meet someone else's expectations, THEN I run into trouble! 

So let's raise our glasses to never limiting our radiance to blend in with others! 

p.s. P!nk - you're my hero :-)

x