Thursday, August 7, 2014

When you forget to wear pants to work...

Note: The comments posted to articles on this event are on the whole - appalling. While I expected to see criticism about what she did, I was completely unprepared for the judgments on her appearance. Please don't torture yourself by reading their narrow-minded and rude remarks. It will waste time you can never get back. 

I don't care who you are, if you screw up this badly, there's a much bigger issue at play than just lack of common sense. 

Clearly, she's hurting. Both before and after this incident. 
I think we'd be hard-pressed to find a person who could withstand this level of public humiliation without showing a shred of embarrassment or shame.

My heart aches for this woman. The mental picture I have of her sitting alone at her desk reminds me of how lonely and depressed I felt at my lowest moment when drinking. She needs our love, support, and encouragement - not snide remarks. I'm pretty sure it will be a long time before she can look back on this day and laugh about it. 

What is it about kicking someone when they are down that seems like a good idea?
Why do people get such a perverse enjoyment from saying negative things about people they don't know?

While I could be wrong, I suspect the same motivations behind this type of cyber-bullying is what motivates kids who pick on others at school:
If I pick on her, I will make people laugh, because they laugh at those kinds of things, and that will make me cool.
If I protect her, everyone will think that I am like her and they will pick on me too. 
I don't want to be like her, so I should pick on her to show that we are not the same.  

The other (more plausible) reason people are saying bad things about her, is because she screwed up in such a big way that they cannot imagine how/why/when they would ever screw up as badly. 
I cannot tell you how many people I have met in recovery, myself included, who did things we SWORE we would never do. We did not aspire to say and do these things, but often times we looked back on our lives and said, "how did I let that happen?"

We did so because we were drunk and addicted to alcohol. 

I am not a bad, unintelligent, or callous person because of what I said and did while drinking. 

I am a person who has said and done bad, unintelligent, or callous things under the influence of alcohol. 

None of us are perfect. We make bad choices all the time. That's what makes us human and unique in this imperfect world! Without bad choices and consequences, how would we learn and grow? 

It's what we do after our mistakes that defines our character. 

Taking charge of our lives and owning our mistakes is hard. Mainly because we have been taught that we needed to be ashamed for bad choices. My thought is that we are perpetuating the idea that it isn't okay to be imperfect. While we don't want to screw up, we should not think badly of ourselves when things don't go as planned. 

I am human. I am allowed to make mistakes. If I was perfect, I would be an angel or some shit. 

SO, if we expect to be forgiven for our faults, we should be generous with forgiving others. 

Forgiveness is not condoning or endorsing the bad behavior of others. It's simply a way to acknowledge other peoples' right to be flawed. 

If it's too hard to forgive someone right away, start by being caring to the person. Offer to help someone you need to forgive by mowing their lawn or going to the store for them when they are sick. When you extend kindness of any kind without intent for reciprocation or praise, you are practicing forgiveness because literally, the word "forgive" comes from the word "forgifan" which means: to give. 

I guess I need to find a way to forgive the twats who said mean things about Mrs. Lorie Hill.